You guys, my life is a mess. It’s a beautiful, crazy, lucky, insane mess, but it’s a mess.
I think I underestimated the chaos of moving and overestimated both my ability to do physical labor and my ability to keep up with everything in my business. But, I have learned several good life lessons in the past week (which also apply to art making) and I thought I’d pass them on:
- Just make a choice. At first, I was paralyzed by all the boxes and the new choices that had to be made. Where should this go? Will I regret putting it there? And then I realized, who cares? Better to have to move it later than to just stare at a box. The same is true with art making. I think we often stare at a blank canvas or a half finished piece paralyzed with indecision and fear of making the wrong decision. Who cares?! If you have to redo it, you’ll learn something. If you don’t have to redo it, you’ll learn something!
- Bursts are the way to go. I think of this kind of like intervals at the gym. I can go hard and all in for a burst of time — unpacking and lugging stuff with enthusiasm for about 20 minutes. Then I feel tired. And so I rest. A few minutes of sitting down and drinking water and thinking about what I want to do next is very helpful. And so on to the next burst! Making art often goes this way for me as well. I’m intensely in the moment for a short period of time. I work hard and with laser focus. Then I sit back and look at what I’ve done. I take a few minutes to evaluate the state of things. Where should I go next? What does this work need? I think this burst methodology is one of the ways I keep myself from burning out.
- Be kind to yourself. I made a goal for myself: Unpack 20 boxes a day. Haven’t managed to hit it yet. I also planned to write more blog posts this week, but it didn’t happen. Same with e-mail. Haven’t looked at in two days. At some point I decided sleep was more important. At first I was annoyed at myself, but then I took a deep breath and decided to focus on what I *have* gotten done. And to remember that it’s okay to be a person who has a life and needs to rest. The same is true in art making. We tend to be enormously self-critical and compare ourselves to others. Why?! Relax. Focus on what you *are* doing and remember that art making is a process.
- Ask for help. I want to lift every box and climb every ladder. I want to be a superwoman who needs no help and does it all perfectly and speedily. I want to be entirely self-sufficient and capable. But, I am not superwoman and I am eight months pregnant. I have had to ask for help. Can you lift this for me? Can you help me install this shelf? And you know what, I didn’t die. Nobody rolled their eyes at me or acted like I was a weakling for asking for help. As in life, I think it’s normal to need to help during the art making process. You may need an outside opinion, advice on how to use a particular tool or medium, inspiration to jump start your engine — lots of different things. I think asking for help needs to be seen as a good thing. You are taking action towards a goal when you ask for help.
So there you have it, wisdom from chaos. I hope you have a great weekend! If you’re looking for me, I’ll be unpacking boxes….
Thanks for stopping by!
Julie, this is a wonderful post. Please remember these lessons once the baby comes, they will still apply maybe even more. Do you know Roxanne Coble (by bun)? She just moved into a new home and had a baby boy in August. I think you both need to talk and be a good support for each other. Roxanne is on youtube and Patreon.
Take your time and enjoy every moment that you can.
20 boxes a day is a lot, especially if you are doing something like growing a new human being. :). Though I think if a box hasn’t been touched in three weeks, it becomes invisible. Be kind to yourself!
JULIE…JULIE…JULIE
GREAT ADVICE!! We all need to read and believe.
You are such an inspiration in so many ways and too SOOOO many.
Just do what you can….we are all here behind you.
Take good care of yourself!!!
WE ARE ALL VERY PROUD OF YOU and your inspirations!!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU
Just take good care of yourself. We moved when I was 8 months pregnant with our second child in August! My feet swelled up so large that I was only able to wear sneakers without laces and I have size 6 feet. I think there is a nesting instinct that comes along with late pregnancy, which is good, since there is less time for anything else once baby arrives. However, allow your spouse to take over some of the heavy lifting.
Moving is a lot of work. I am in the process of relocating to WA from CO. I haven’t quite decided on how to go about it. Lol
Even us lurkers are there for you all the way. Feel our vibes and enjoy your new home.
I really love this. It is so hard to give ourselves a break. It is hard for me to ask for help because I see it as being weak, but Intellectually I know that’s not true. Continue to be kind to yourself. 20 boxes is a LOT! Take care!
Good choices! You have the rest of your life to get the house set up so let the 20 boxes idea go! Get as ready as possible for the baby to come (so soon)!! Really commend you for knowing to “burst” your energy and know to tap into that skill for years to come! Sending much love and joy your way!
Having moved a 4 bedroom house with lots of furniture and hundreds of boxes of stuff from NY to PA this summer (our 4th big move in 23 years) I get it. You have already given yourself good advice, based on your needs at this time and based on experience.
Here are my 3 top pieces of advice, from our experience:
*Do what is necessary to make it feel like home right now.
For example, we practically live in our kitchen, so that was the first area to unpack and set up. That included making it look pretty, so we could enjoy living in that space.
*Empty boxes get recycled/upcycled as they are emptied.
We collapsed them and stored them in the garage, and little by little, with an ad on FB marketplace, they disappeared. (You can sell them cheaply or just give them away. But get them OUT of the house.)
(And packing paper is great for art, even when crinkled, so I saved much of that – it’s great blotter paper for my table.)
*Don’t give yourself a target box number for each day. Give yourself a target area/room/closet/shelf/drawer……instead.
Some boxes took me 4 hours – like my computer desk area – because there was so much thinking and organizing of tiny things to deal with. And some boxes (like boxes of towels, sheets, pillows, boxes of pasta) that were done in 10 minutes each.
Anyway, try to enjoy the process and take all the help you can get.
One of our moves we had a 2 year old and a newborn. I sat in a chair like a pasha with the baby, while my mom and my mother in law opened boxes and asked me “Where would you like this?”
Happy unpacking to you all :))
Great post! I, too, moved while pregnant. Be very careful. I ended up with a life long wrist injury… I had no idea all the ligaments and tendons are ready for the birthing process and very prone to injury at this point. AND the stress of moving I think contributed to the birth of my premie… who spent serious time in infant ICU being born too early. So, I would rather you do not lift or move ANY boxes. And just have boxes line your walls for awhile. Take. Your. Time. Love you!
I’m with Candace! Get someone else to move and unpack those boxes. Trust me your health and the baby’s is far more important right now! We all love you and want the very best for you and your family! Wish we all were there to help you in person.
Your advice is timeless. I need this encouragement/enlightenment daily. So helpful. Thank you for sharing.
I have health issues that don’t allow me to go as fast or as long as others. It took awhile, and sometimes I’m still a little hard-headed about it, but I’ve learned to take breaks or say that it will have to wait until tomorrow. I’m so glad that you are pacing yourself – there is no greater anything that you will do in life than bringing your baby into this world. Nurturing and caring for you baby is your top priority and for now, that means taking care of you. The boxes will eventually get unpacked (or not and put in a closet) but taking care of you can’t wait. Never doubt yourself when you put your loved ones ahead of anybody or anything else. Thank you for sharing your journey, especially the reminder to ‘be kind to yourself’. Wishing you and baby the best.
You wise woman you! Yes, those are important lessons. I wish you good luck unpacking and don’t forget to look around and enjoy the new surroundings (but I know you won’t…) Love from Holland.
One Word Only: ADMIRE you !!
YES & AMEN!!!!! Er’Y DAY!!!!!
This lurker is in agreement with you.